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Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The REAL Reason Why You Need To Go On Your Journey Alone

Hi there!
Half of Gabby has moved to a new kickass website! 

Read this article, in it’s updated version, HERE.

 The page that you are on right now (www.halfofgabby.blogspot.com) is no longer posting new articles and information. Half of Gabby has moved to www.halfofgabby.com and will continue to post new material regularly! In addition, all older articles have been updated on the new site!


                         Photography by ilene marshall photography

Anytime one embarks on a journey, there are many obstacles that will be faced. It's a very scary moment to be standing at the bottom of a mountain and looking up at its towering enormity... it’s even scarier to make the decision to climb the damn thing.

When you take that very first step, everyone in your life will be there at the bottom of that mountain standing next to you. Some will be cheering you on, some will be telling you not to do it, some will secretly believe you won't be able to succeed, some will secretly hope you don't succeed, and some will just be there because you asked them to be.

As the days roll by, you'll take your tumbles. You'll doubt yourself often as you weather treacherous storms and battle demons you didn't even know you had. After a little while, you'll start to realize that a lot of those people who were there at the bottom of that mountain when you started aren't there anymore.

The higher you climb, the quieter it gets.

…and you begin to be able, for the first time in a very long time, to really listen.

To listen to your inner voice. To listen to your soul. The silence is deafening. The answers you’ve been looking for, the questions you’ve been asking, and the self-assurances that you’ve been in desperate need for are all around you. So loud and so crystal clear.

As you near the top you'll find that there's hardly anyone willing to endure the unending, scary ridges and dangerous cliffs. They become fainthearted, weary, and unwilling to continue. And you know what? That's okay. This is your mountain, not theirs. They aren't supposed to climb yours, they're supposed to find one of their own.

When you are ascending your own mountain, the higher you get, the stronger you get. You find even more drive and determination. You see how far you’ve come and realize that you have it in you to reach the top. It excites you. 

It empowers you. 

However, if it’s neither your mountain nor your journey, the higher you climb, the more frightening it becomes. One slip can be deadly and one false move can leave you stranded. 

It’s not fair to ask anyone to go on a journey that is just meant for only you. It’s not fair to ask of them to truly understand what it is inside of you that’s driving you up this goddamned mountain.

It will hurt you when you’re up against those who not only don’t understand it, but discourage and degrade you for it. But you must keep forging ahead anyway. Forgive them and realize that their opinions and unwillingness to understand you have no bearing on your journey. They’re battling their own struggles that they haven’t yet been able to face. Know in your heart that you need to do this for you… so that you can be the person you were meant to be. So that you can be a better mom, wife, friend, daughter… so you can be a better human being. You’re no good to anyone if you’re unhappy and withdrawn.

Don’t you dare let someone’s disparagement make you untie your climbing shoes or convince you to rappel down that mountain. That mountain is yours and you need to hold fast and continue upward. Don’t stop until you bring that son of a bitching behemoth to its knees.

Everyone has their own picture of what is necessary. Don't let someone else's opinion or disillusionment blur your vision. You know what you want and need. Don't let other people's words steer you off course.

You will find so much strength inside of yourself during your passage. And when you finally are standing at the very top of that mountain, it is then and only then that you realize that you're supposed to be alone. 

This was your mountain to climb, not anyone else's. You are supposed to get to the top knowing you did this on your own.

You crushed that mountain and you made it your bitch. You. Just you.

It doesn't mean you can't have loved ones holding your hands the whole way or throwing you a life line when you hit a steep rock but you are the one that has to put the work in. You are the one who put in the time, the dedication, the struggle, the sweat, and the constant diligence. You get all the glory. You earn every drop fair and square. 

And that's how it's supposed to be.

We all have our very own obstacles and our very own mountains to conquer.

Everyone has journeys they must embark on to become a better version of themselves. It may have nothing to do with weight loss or health. There are far too many struggles and demons to count. Everyone has their own plights and it's their job to overcome them. The one who gets the job done makes the ones who don't feel very intimidated... and pissed off.

If you're lucky, in the end you'll have those few who shouted encouragement and supported you all along the way and you'll know that they truly want for you happiness and joy. For those who felt your efforts were wasted and gratuitous, well... they weren't good for you in the first place.

It might surprise you who ends up being avoidant and irritated with you because you are succeeding. It may also surprise you at who genuinely has shown constant support and assurance. 

All you need to know is that in the end, the right people will still be there.

We must all respect everyone's individual dreams and desires. It is not our place to discourage or chastise others for what their soul drives them to do. And if someone discourages you from success and happiness, then they will only ever serve as a blockade. They will stop you from where you need to go.

This life is fleeting and unpredictable. You must listen to what your inner voice keeps leading you back to. 

The outside world and the people in it do not know what is best for you. You have the answers.

Stay the course of your journey and trust the process. Trust the driving force so that you can overcome the obstacles. You deserve to be happy and healthy. You deserve to be proud of who you are and how strong you are. But most of all, you deserve to freely be you. The you that makes her own decisions, the you that lives her own life without bending to someone else's conditions, and the you that never has to fake another smile again.

There are moments in a personal journey that will take your breath away. Beautiful breakthrough moments that will leave you crying tears of joy and gratitude. Gratitude for the lesson, the strength to forage through it, and the willingness to learn it. You will learn so much about yourself, wondrous and amazing things. You'll find courage and bravery you didn't even know you were capable of. 

This greatness, this fortitude in you, it was always there. It was just always buried under so much shit you couldn’t see it.

You will no longer be afraid to look down and see how high you've climbed. In fact, the view will astound you, to see how far you've traveled. Suddenly the peak doesn't seem so impossible to reach, you can even see it ever so slightly hidden in the low clouds. All of your fear will be replaced with hope. And all of your “I can'ts” and “I shouldn'ts” will be replaced with “Hell yes I can” and “Hell yes I will.”

This deep change in you will scare some people, the people who have their own demons to battle. You will represent what they have not yet done or maybe will never be able to do. You will remind them of their unhappiness. 

It's not your job to deal with that, it's theirs. 

And it's not your job to deal with that kind of negativity. Life is too short to be held back by someone else. God knows we have enough trouble holding ourselves back, we don't need any help.

Life is also too short to hold grudges. Wish them well and part ways hoping they too will find their path and start their trek up their insidious mountain. Until that day comes, if it ever will, they won't ever be able to be happy for you. Again, it's okay. Let them be bitter or jealous or whatever the hell it is they are and just let it go.

You will find that when you are truly happy, you won't need others' approval or acceptance. 
Your light will shine from the inside out. 

No one will be able to dull your sparkle anymore. Those who love you and are happy for you will still be there. Your light will inspire them. They will flutter around you like moths to a lamppost and be in awe of your accomplishments and truly proud of you. But for the haters and the naysayers, your light will hurt their eyes. You'll blind the ever-living hell out of them.

But just as you’ll have miraculous and extraordinary moments along your journey, you'll encounter just as many difficult ones. Journeys are hard and long-lasting. They are trying at times and can seem endless. 

But they're supposed to be.

That's what turns you into Wonder Woman when you’re waving that flag at the top of your mountain. Once you take in that view, nothing and no one will EVER be able to hurt you again. You will know unequivocally that you will be able to get back up from anything that will ever try to knock your ass down again.

Make your life what it was meant to be. Grab it by the horns and don't let go.

Go chase your health and happiness down like a dirty dog.

You can do this!

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*The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content in this article is for general information purposes only. I am not a doctor, nor am I a dietitian. Talk to your physician before making any changes in your diet or exercise regimen. The information found in this article is from various sources which include, but are not limited to, the sites listed above. I encourage you to do your own research and talk with your physician before making any changes in diet or exercise. What has worked for me may not work for you. This information in this article or on this website should never replace or serve as medical advice.


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